It was never my intention for events to turn out this way, yet of course that was beyond my control from the start. It was him, our author who decreed it thus. He who created this void in me when my "wife" left me and my son grew cold in his heart. He who made the desire for female flesh, such a necessity for me.. Who led me to Madame Pace and who led me every day to fornicate with these women. I should thank him really. It's a simple transaction; what I want for what they want. And for a while it was satisfactory. Before it became necessity. And once it was necessity it was then that He thought it best to bring her into the shop. My Stepdaughter. I was sickened when I saw her. Sickened by her age compared to mine. Sickened by the fact that she was here, in this room despite the fact she was mourning. But sickened most of all, by my body. By my instinctive attraction to this young girl in a mourning dress. It made it so much more alluring for me. If her mother hadn't arrived at that time I would've..... I can't bare to think of it. But I do. Every night i remember how close we were and my blood begins to burn with the thought that I want to be that close again. This time, however I wish to be closer.
Her mother arriving at that time saved me and fixed me in that point for all eternity. Because my conscience cannot cope with the way they have been living as of late. In such poverty they have to share a bed between the four of them. Ah yes four. I forgot about her other children; a young boy and girl. Neither of them speak, likely due to the trauma they have experienced at such a young age. The little boy is just like his father, so neek and mild. Although his lack of speech is troubling, it's almost amusing how much it makes him similar to his father. The young girl similarly doesn't speak but had a simplicity not too dissimilar to her mother. My Stepdaughter is entranced with her, always caring and cooing over her, it's incredibly annoying. Yet if I were to confront her for anything at all, she merely goes me a look and I feel that I am transported back to that room with h to and that record player. With the screen barely covering her as he took off he dress. Fixed you see? I cannot escape. And neither can the rest of them from their fate. Our only hope is to seek a new author; one that will perfect our story and not leave us in purgatory for all eternity. I only hope they will come along with me, for if they don't I fear they will keep me trapped in this eternal moment forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment